Two Thousand and Twelve...

 A new year!  It's a time for a fresh start, new beginnings and of course the mapping out of plans for the year that follows. We make promises to ourselves of things we wish to achieve, some with a lazy heart and others with great determination. 

The end of another year is also the time to reflect on the journey we walked, ran and at times crawled. A time when we put all of our faith in the four new digits that we hope will bring us bigger and brighter things. Yes, with a new year comes much promise.

It’s now nearing the end of January.  Almost 6 months into our transition, however as I sit here in surroundings that still feel extremely new and unfamiliar, I am still unable to set out plans nor am I able to make a resolution for the year that is already upon us.

I am drawn to 2011 and what it bought to me and to the ones that I hold dear to my heart.  My mind is blank.  With our move to the country taking up much of my focus for a good part of 6 months, it’s hard to remember anything else of importance within that time.

I tightly close my eyes and force myself to think past the scared, the hurt and the pain. The memories of 2011 come flooding back.  

Jackson's first day of school is first and foremost.  How proudly he wore his uniform and how confidently he walked away from me, holding his new teachers hand and screaming across the quad "bye mummy"... The though has enough emotion attached to still bring a tear to my eye! 

Like mosaic of pictures fill my mind and many more memories follow;  the weddings we attended, the transformations we made, birthdays, concerts, achievements, day trips, sports played, and so much more... I am overwhelmed at how much actually happened that year; how many precious memories almost forgotten, smothered by my inability move past the emotions I carry towards moving here.  

I revert back to my reason for being in this moment; a resolution to be founded.  

I decide that the best path to take is the one that is already laid before me. To set no goals, make no plans, and have no expectations on the four digits that are 2012.

I have learnt from 2011 that life has its own plan for me. It has a way of mapping itself out and that my road has already been paved.  Instead of making myself promises that I may never be able to fulfil, I will instead take the hands of my family and friends and together we will tackle the bad, welcome the good and be open to walk the in what ever direction the year takes us; for the fear of forgetting what was is to great to be focused on what I wanted.