Sitting down in my designated thinking spot to ponder on my life’s direction, I was reminded of the many people whose journey I had followed. To them, I was only a shadow in the distance, but in reality I had walked every step of the way. I had watched family succeed, watched colleges climb the corporate ladder and even cried as friends followed their hearts desire. So in searching for this something I so desperately needed, I came to the conclusion, like many that had walked before me, I too would take some time to focus on my career. With that decision, the seasons changed again and I became another year older.
Now it is a great concept for one to make this stance on their future, however in practice the notion was almost impossible. While I knew that my heart held a strong desire for working with children, the direction of this desire was not yet understood. Torn in two by heart and head and their constant bickering on the career choice I should make, it was many weeks before I finally let one rule the other, and decided on the route in which my journey for the future would take me; teaching.
With my mind made up and my heart tagging along, I began to investigate where I began and how it would all work out. Being an organised planner type of person that I am, I needed to know the in’s and out’s of what I could be getting myself into. I spoke to friends that I knew who were teachers; the principal of the school and even gave my children a chance at throwing in their own two bob’s worth. However, with all investigations done, check list ticked off and piles and piles of notes written on crinkled pieces of paper, I still was not sure if this teaching gig would be right for me and for my family, nor was i confident that i would be able to carry out the four years of university that teaching required. I was at a lost as to what to do and no closer to making the change and giving myself that little piece of something.
Months passed and so too did the cold winter, inviting spring and summer had almost waved its last goodbye. we were heading into another change of season and it was time to get my butt into gear. With shaking hands and perspiration building on my brow, I nervously made the call. Before I knew it I was an enrolled student of Curtin University and ready to make a difference to my life and the lives of the children. I was filled with nerves, and racked with fear but in my heart, I knew that the children of today are our future and if I could contribute to making the difference towards their path, then there was nothing more I could ask for. With this understanding, I hit the books hard and studied like I had never done before, all the while, the end goal in sight.
Since this terrifying moment that seems like it was only yesterday, I have successfully completed four units of the degree with distinctions and high distinctions and am making my way through the next round of units as I speak. I never dreamed that study would be a normality in my life, and had never imagined that I would enjoy the learning process as much as I have. While there have been tears, tantrums and days where facing the books seemed all to hard, it is my love of children, my dedication to make a difference and my need to find that lil something for me, that has kept me afloat.
So while I may no longer find the time to fill my blog with words from the heart, my writing still continues, filling my head with knowledge to achieve my hearts desire.
