Today...

She lay in my arms, a perfect bundle of pink. Her little button nose nestles into my chest and the love I feel for her is instant. The pain of the past hours of labour a forgotten memory as I study her beautiful features and talk to her in a soothing voice only a mother owns. A new baby girl for our family, a new little person to fill our hearts with joy... A little girl called Piper.

That was over 5 years ago but  it feels like it was only yesterday that she entered the world and was cradled in my arms. Today my youngest daughter begins her first journey in life; school.

Piper and I have not always been close. Similar in every part of personality means that we butt heads more than we agree. Her determination and strong personality is a perfect match for my own and arguments between us are frequent, often requiring Craig to step in and take charge. Looking back it is rather immature of me to stoop to the level of a young child but in my defense, Piper has always been beyond her years.

It was not so long ago that I welcomed this day. Mentally counting down the years, months and weeks until I could happily pack her school bag and send her off to spend her days challenging the authority of the teachers rather than that of her own mother. I dreamed of the 6 hours of peace that the school enrollment would bring me and how for 5 days a week, I would be argument free!

Today however, as my daughter dresses in white and blue that is her new attire for many years to come,

my heart strings are stretched and I am forced to hold back tears. With her little black shoes and white socks to match, she looks ready to take on the world; the world that has been ready and waiting for her since the day she entered it.

I brush her hair into two little tails, a blue ribbon on each side. She smiles at me as I pin back the fly away hairs and stick them down with spray, "I can't wait to start school Mummy" she says. No reply leaves my mouth, the words are choked by the lump that sits in my throat. I managed a smile and turn away.. "Where have the years gone?" I wonder... "And why do they have to grow up so quick?"

As if someone moved the hands on the clock, time for school comes quickly. Pictures are taken, a genuine smile upon her face. Today there is a twinkle in her big blue eyes, today she shines bright, today my baby is a big girl.

Piper places her overly large pink school bag on her back and runs to the car.

The distance to the school is short, however long enough for me to process my feelings and why I am lost about the journey she is about to embark on.

Piper has been my constant companion since we move here. In a place where everything was different and where we felt so alone, we had each other. We filled the day with conversation and completed tasks side by side. Moving in sync we began to become familiar with each others ways, thoughts and together developed an understanding of the other. We had bonded. Today, all that comes to an end. . Today, although I will have my youngest at home, I will be alone.

We reach the school gates, and all my children pile out of our van. Much to their dismay, many more photos are taken in an attempt to catch every moment, every expression of the day , a day I never want to   forget.

The chain of the brass bell is pulled and the chime is ear piercing; its time for her first day of school to commence.

There are no tears from my daughter, there are no kisses, nor are there any arms wrapped around my neck. She runs off towards the class room, chatting to her newly made friends along the way. Then she is gone...

I finally allow the lump in my throat to be swallowed and the tears roll down my cheek.

Today my littlest daughter has taken her first steps towards her future, and it's now my turn to do the same....